


Reflection

by cathniss



Category: GOT7
Genre: Confusion, Don't know how to explain this correctly, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Maybe a little horror?, One Shot, Other, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 16:19:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8539945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cathniss/pseuds/cathniss
Summary: It started a few years ago really, but it only became clear a few months ago. Today it's happening again and he can't look himself in the mirror.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Don't know what to say, bad summary, confusing everything and... Read at your own risk. By the way, 1. English is not my first language, 2. This is horribly written and I'm sorry about that, and 3. I haven't read this through so any mistakes are gladly fixed if pointed out

If Mark had to guess he'll probably have to say it started years ago. It was just never something he dwelled on or even thought would be a problem. Ever. He was wrong, he supposes, as it has now escalated and he doesn't know what to do about it.

It was in 6th grade maybe, and even though he'd never liked his reflection it started then, probably... Possibly. But only for a moment was the oddness there. Never something that lingered or stuck with him until several years later. There was something wrong with the reflection. But as stated, it never really struck him until years later that the oddity was actually there.

Mark's never been satisfied with his looks, always felt guilty towards his parents for it, but has always struggled to stay optimistic. The oddness kept coming back and he's looked at his reflection countless of times over the years, but maybe he never actually saw the reflection for what it was.

Now, when he'd finally reached a level of acceptance with himself, how he looked and who he was, it all came crashing down. He didn't know what happened but he stopped feeling. There was nothing, but not emptiness. His chest wasn't empty, it was just numb. When Jackson, his best friend, spent an entire day with him and talked about things, Mark couldn't feel anything. The only thing he knew was that he wanted to cry, there was always that crying sensation. The problem was that he couldn't cry. He couldn't cry and he couldn't feel and he knew that for some reason the tears refused to fall. He could then look in the mirror and not really feeling anything familiar with his face. He knew it was his face because, it's his face, there's no denying that. But he didn't feel like it was him staring back. It was at this moment he knew there was something wrong with his reflection, he just didn't know what exactly made him feel this way.

After a month the feelings came back, he could look himself in the mirror from time to time but the oddity was still present at times. He didn't know what to do so he ignored it until it became a bigger problem than it was now. 

It hasn't happened yet, but Mark knew it was only a matter of time before he'd go crazy. The reflection he saw again tonight before his shower was there. It started out as a little odd, not exactly how he feels like he looks like. But the longer he stared at his face the more unfamiliar it started feeling. He stopped looking at himself and washed his face to continue getting ready for bed, but it didn't help anything at all. Mark had a weird tingling sensation of hands and arms snaking their way up his back. In fear he scrubbed his face clean of soap, but only enough to be able to look into the mirror. He had to confirm he was alone. Indeed he was, but the reflection was still unfamiliar. He wondered when it would end. How it could start to begin with. He wanted it to stop.

When he later got to his room he stared at the full mirror showing his entire body naked. He continued to stare and felt as though everything started to alienate in front if his eyes. The reflection again, it was so unfamiliar but yet familiar. It was him but he didn't feel as though he could recognize himself. Mark wanted to touch his face but didn't understand the necessity of it, it wouldn't help and he knew that. His hands met his cheeks, pinched and continued outlining his face. It later moved down to his throat and he felt oncoming tears that wouldn't fall, he knew they wouldn't. It dragged his hands down his flat chest and abdomen, no muscle to brag about but acceptable still. He touched his arms and it was weird. Watching himself touch his own body that wasn't familiar, it confused him. It didn't calm it that much, the reflection was still wrong.

As Mark snuck under the covers of his bed he wondered when this would all be over, when he'd see himself in the reflection and feel as though it was him. He wondered when he'd stop hating himself and mirrors and when he'd be normal again, if he ever was. He cried himself to sleep that night, wishing for another life.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes. Okay. Thanks I guess. If anything is unclear or if there's any question you wanna ask, go ahead and do that in a comment and I'll answer as best as I can! :)


End file.
